Interview With Joy Miller Founder and President of Home for Love

By Dr. Gabriella Kőrösi

Joy Miller and the children of Home for Love

On November 6, 2021 I had an interview with Joy Miller who is the president and founder of home for love a wonderful organization in Haiti helping children in the community with a vision of a better future for the children living in the home and Haiti. Throughout our conversation I learned a lot about Haiti in this wonderful project that Joy had started. I am really grateful for people like Joy in the world who step up and take care of others in the most amazing way possible. Please see the full description of the conversation below. The conversation is also recorded, and you can listen to it here.

Interview with Joy Miller November 6 2021

Gabriella” Good afternoon, everyone I’m here with Joy Miller who is the founder and president of Home for Love a children home in Haiti. I am really excited to have Joy here with us today and first I would like to ask you to tell us a little bit about yourself and how this wonderful project started. “

Joy “Okay, first of all thank you for having me as Gabriella said my name is Joy Miller and I am a registered nurse I was fortunate enough to go to several mission trips to Haiti back in 2010 shortly after the earthquake. The first time I went to Haiti I know that there was something in my heart that called me to go to Haiti. I wanted to do something more. I wasn’t quite sure what that was. Over the next couple of years, I just continued to do some mission trips there. I met a guy who was interested to start a children’s home and helping kids who lived in a place called Cite Soleil a very impoverished and gang ridden area of Haiti. We were able to take 12 kids into our home and our home house is 12 kids who stayed there full-time. We have a full range of staff about 13 members. Which includes nannies who could clean and stay at the house during day and night. They take turns take shifts. We have security guards we have ladies two lovely ladies who do our laundry. We have a teacher who calms and tutors the children, and we have a social worker. So, we are not only supply help for these 12 children we have outreach in the community and helping Haitian staff and their families. Home for love is a child’s home we don’t like to collect an orphanage on orphanage has kind of a stigmatism you could say in Haiti where in the past many people say we have an orphanage in Haiti and they get a lot of finances from the US and not to fault the US or churches per se but people tend to give you know because you want to give to orphanages and children bend the reality is if you don’t go dead you don’t know what’s happening the orphanages are not good they are not set up to help the children they are a way for people to get rich. We like to say to children’s home it’s much different than any other orphanage that you would see in Haiti and its rounds with a full staff more than a one-to-one ratio for the children.”

Gabriella” That is just sounds like a wonderful project Joy. I am really grateful that you are doing this for the children. Do you want to tell us a little bit about them?”

Joy:” Sure, so we have as I said 12 children, they range in ages of five to a soon to be 15, so actually we just had one turn 15 in October. The oldest one who just turned 15 named Dadlyn, he was born with cerebral palsy he was one of our first children that we took in to help. As you can imagine bringing up in Haiti is difficult enough but when you have a disability such as cerebral palsy where he is unable to walk it is a big burden for the family to care for him. We were able to help him his parents actually his mom dropped him off at the clinic and so we were able to help him and take him and we still would like to do much more to help him physically as he does need surgery, he needs different braces as he continues to grow which we haven’t been able to provide full-time therapy for him unfortunately it’s just because of the situation of the country and lack of finances. We do have two pairs of siblings we do like to keep children together if possible. Siblings together, if possible, some of our children they do have parents some have grandparents uncles grandmas this is more of a safe house we like to call it. We still like our families to be very involved with the children to know what’s going on and come and visit as needed. We do take pride in that we like to keep our children connected with their families.”

Gabriella:” That is wonderful so these children are not orphans necessarily, but the family might not be able to take care of them because the financial means or other issues?”

Joy:” That is correct. The goal if I can say just starting out when I got into this project it was one of those things that I just have a heart to help people I am a nurse, so I jumped in with both feet. (We both giggle here)

Gabriella:” Yes”

Joy:” To step back and do it again I think I would probably do it a little bit differently. As much as I love to try to keep the family involved doing the best I can. I would really love to help to start a bigger program where we can help the families more in the beginning I never want the families to feel like that they are having to choose for giving up a child or putting a child in a safe place. As opposed to like saying as a family unit. So as great as this opportunity is for the kids in the family, the families are totally on board as I said, and they come visit frequently. I just think a little better model going forward for our future is ultimately to try to help families stay together in Haiti and to be able to support families and try to provide opportunities for jobs in the future it would be a great idea for us.”

Gabriella:” That sounds like a wonderful plan. This makes me think of the question do you plan to expand this project further?”

Joy:” So well, for now with the 12 children we have we don’t take any more children we cannot take any more kids and actually two of our kids we originally had were able to transition back to their family so that was a greatly word and it was a good time, and the parents and sisters would only board so that was great. We could possibly transition two more children back to their families at some point too, how would the family is currently in Cite Soleil so there is that part of that getting them out of Cite Soleil. The expansion would be more like that we hope for these 12 kids that they get through school and get through high school and that we can find sponsors for them to go to universities and you know they all have dreams of giving back and starting business in Haiti, traveling, they love sports they love singing dancing you know all the things that kids here love to do they just don’t have the same opportunity as you can imagine leaving in Haiti. So the expansion would be after my dream for the expansion would be after these children are grown and make sure that they are getting their education and then how we could change the face for Home for Love.

Gabriella:” To may be transition to something like supporting families so the children could stay in their families?”

Joy:” Yes, yes or to keep them from a lot of the children would like to stay and give back like one of them she says I would love to be the boss of the house one day. That would be great to you know because there are some of the children who don’t have any family so they do need help, they are true orphans so maybe just using home for love in a smaller scale for orphans but truly helping orphans and children who have families but how you keep these families to get out I think is the most important for me.”

Gabriella:” I think that sounds like a really wonderful combination to do both and I am really grateful to hear that the two children you are talking about they were able to transition back to their home.”

Joy: “Yes”

Gabriella:” So you mentioned earlier previously when we were talking that you are working into different jobs is that to support this project?”

Joy:” yes as you can imagine back home as you can imagine with coalbed Co. it was tough for everybody. It was really difficult to fund raise over the last two years we just have not been able to get the financial support that we had normally received in the past because we could not gather in person. Be done many online things but we are just trying to get broader exposure and find more donors. Yes more recently as I said I am a nurse fortunately I been able to keep my job to COVID and stay employed which is great but recently I did just pick up an extra job at work so I am a nurse supervisor and I’m also a manager of a medical surgical float pool unit. And yes, that’s because most of the financing and support for home for love is come from my pocket. Currently.”

Gabriella:” well thank you so much for all you do Joy, and I really hope that that may be throughout this podcast and other avenues you will get more support for this wonderful project you’re working on. I do want to ask so if somebody would be interested besides giving money what else anything else they can do to help and support Home for Love?

Joy:” Yeah that’s a great question. Yeah, so obviously that people want to give money that’s great our website is https://www.haitihomeforlove.com/ we always are looking for volunteers if you are interested in helping us fit different events that we do we always need volunteers for that we need volunteers for people who are just good to beat social media and getting to ward out spreading the word. If anyone is interested in nonprofit or has actually nonprofit experience, we are always looking for people who can give us more guidance to the whole nonprofit world. The thing is that I’m located in Seattle Washington and there is a lot of competing nonprofits there which is great but also it does cause a little struggle in that that there are so many so great organizations to give to that it is a little bit challenging, so we are always looking for people in ways of helping guys getting the word began volunteering. One of the things I would love to take people to Haiti with me but as you know with Covid it’s been challenging and Haiti has a huge political crisis going on if anyone seen that in the news so it makes it really really hard to get people there to see what it’s really like and even though like our kids are doing really well and we have a small home it is really challenging to keep like the electricity running and to get gas for them to go to school to keep them safe by paying security guards. So that is just always a struggle and then people just can’t go and see for themselves it’s very challenging. In the future we always welcome people to come to Haiti with us who are willing to go that is a great way to get involved as well.”

Gabriella:” That sounds like some wonderful opportunities to support Home for Love. And since you brought it up, I wanted to ask you a little bit about the situation in the country and you do have to hire security guards as you mentioned to protect the children. How’s the violence going on in the country and how you guys are coping with that situation?”

Joy:” Yeah Haiti, well anyone can see but for those of you who don’t know it has no infrastructure the president was recently assassinated there is no political structure since he has been gone. A lot of infighting gangs are pretty much taking over the country. They control all the entry ports toward the water so any gasoline supply or anything that’s coming into port they demand the government pay them. If the government does not pay them they do not allow the gasoline trucks to leave the port. Drivers of gasoline trucks it is very dangerous for them to try to drive the trucks out of the port without getting shot at or getting kidnapped or killed. Kidnapping is on the rise so all of that is just super scary it is a difficult, dangerous. Now where we live read our home as it is a little bit up in the mountains which makes it a little safer but the reality is gangs kind of just go all over to Haiti now and no one is safe nobody feels a sense of security. My kids tell me when we what’s up or face time that they are scared they are tired of living without electricity that it is scary at night it is dark. We have a generator but obviously we cannot run a generator without gasoline. Internet service is bad because there’s no gasoline right now. It is really a struggle and then the cost of food rises because there’s no gasoline nobody can get to work so it is just a really a vicious cycle for example now with the gasoline crisis the gasoline prices a gallon of gasoline can cost 35 or $25. Back in a day when I started in Haiti my dollar did go far everyone kind of in that mindset in the US will have the mindset that your dollar must go so far in Haiti it does not at all everything is the same price. They have Gourde to the dollar it is almost identical now there is no like it’s not like all your dollar can equal 130 Gourde or whatever it’s like 100 Gourde to one dollar. That makes it super challenging and very difficult, even what we paid the staff you know they are monthly pay doesn’t go as far as it used to. All of that is very challenging for us and the prices are just rising the kidnapping the gang violence the fear it’s really crippling Katie it’s really quite a sad situation right now.”

Gabriella: “ I am so sorry to hear that I was wondering how the kids are doing but hearing that they are fearful is really hard. It is just something really hard to hear. I hope that the situation will resolve at some point. If it is not is that any option to get the kids out of there?

Joy:” Yeah, that’s a good question too many of us have thought about that and tried. I would say it’s always an option but the issue with Haiti is even just to try, say that you are just let’s say a person living in Haiti a grown adult and you’re trying to leave Haiti even just to visit to get a visa they have like on 85% decline rate. They make you try to apply for a reason with a multitude of three times. Usually if you’re lucky by deter time you get granted your visa, but every time. Recites almost $200 so you have to pay. If you live in Haiti imagine that you have to come up with 600.dollars just to apply to be finally get the visa just to visit the US. And then to adopt or to leave children with Haiti you have to lots of lots of legal issues huge money, financial fees it’s difficult. And then the children aren’t just allowed to stay here they can only stay for so many months and then you have to return stay so many months. And also with the political issues that embassies are barely open today so it’s even really hard to try to do any of this paperwork. I believe that all the things are possible I am just not sure of course with my mom heart I would want all of them to bring here I hated that they are there and that they are scared. It is a really hopeless feeling I would say it is really difficult for me to see what’s happening and know how they feel and feeling like I cannot be there to help them. We just continue. I pray I hope that this situation can be resolved and that the children can stay safe.”

Gabriella:” I certainly hope so have there been any threats or any problems at the home?”

Joy:” no so that we are we haven’t had any specific thing per se. There are always things that are always rumors that you can hear it on the street or this or that but again we live in a fairly safe area. Everyone they call it zone dad everyone in the zone knows everyone or related even in our area so we have not had any issues thank goodness. To this point we are very thankful.”

Gabriella:” That is great to hear. Thank you so much for sharing all this information about Home for Love. The situation dad and about the children. Now I just want to ask you another question about someone else. I saw on your Facebook page story regarding Ellen. And I wondered if you wanted to talk about her Elizabeth and her situation to see if we can get some people to help her maybe.

Joy:” Which one was that sorry?”

Gabriella:” us story about Ellen, it sounds like you have met her when you went to Haiti now she suffered multiple strokes and I saw that..”

Joy:” Fabian, Fabian Ellen. Yes so that’s actually a great story thank you. Fabian is one of the first woman I met when I was in Haiti. Fabian is like one of the most amazing woman you will ever meet. She is a person like she never sleeps she just go go go. She has a beautiful family a loving husband and two daughters. I seen her daughters grow up. She works for the medical team that had a house in Haiti very first went on our first medical trip and we stayed at this house. She was the one the director who was getting us where we needed to go, telling us what to expect. Any crisis through Haiti she’s been there boots on the ground, she is an ICU nurse who has worked in the states and in Haiti she has gone back and forth and over the past year to through COVID she decided to come back to Miami and had been working in a hospital in the US during covariates so she had half of her family here half in Haiti which you can imagine is really hard. Be of a from family as the same I feel. And did this to help and then had plans to go back to Haiti in the fall to start to do more medical missions to help in Haiti again when this stroke happened. Yes, this is on my Facebook page there is a go fund me. Again, she is the person who just gives 100% to helping other people as well so if anybody can help her to that would be amazing.

Gabriella:” Yes thank you so much for telling us about Ellen and I will definitely add that link for that page to this article as well just to support both you and her. Is there anything else that I didn’t ask about that you want to share regarding Home for Love or anything else?”

Joy:” I would just say I get a question a lot many people are kind of like why do you do this like sometimes it just seems really hard and overwhelming, and I need for people to understand how is possible. I would just say I would hundred percent to do it again and for people who don’t really understand it it’s because you have not been there you have not seen these amazing people and amazing kids. I would just ask everyone to find out more information, just to know more about Haiti. Haiti sometimes to the US just seems like a lost cause but if you really get to know Haiti the country the people, these kids you can’t help but to fall in love. It is such a worthwhile cause. To know that you’re helping somebody else and you don’t know what these kids future are we are hoping and praying that these kids are going to like really help Haiti you know help turn around Haiti so that is always on hope and all goal. I would just encourage people to be educated, educate yourself on what’s really happening around the world. Outside of your own comfort zone.”

Gabriella:” That is wonderful. Thank you so much for having this conversation with me Joy and I really hope that people listening to this will be able to go to your website and again that is Haitihomeforlove.com and learn more about the children and what you doing and hopefully may be get involved with your nonprofit organization to help the children and Haiti. Thank you so much.”

Joy: ”Thank you.”

https://www.haitihomeforlove.com/?fbclid=IwAR3D0qIpNaxtAc-6gEkYNaGiF6BYug6saYxOEpdR3sc68Tpx6iWHgi-wbxU

https://www.gofundme.com/f/fabienne-medical-recovery-fund?utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet&utm_medium=email&utm_source=customer

Dancing Elephants Press and Home for Love November 6, 2021. All rights reserved.

Grief- Sending Love To The World

The importance of supporting each other

By Dr. Gabriella Kőrösi

Photo by Andrea Mihaly

We see horrible losses every day. The loss of a life is something that is really difficult to comprehend to talk about and to understand. There are multiple stages of grief that we go through when life is lost. It can take a long time to overcome the loss of a loved one. Even people who you might not know but you hear about their death can bring a gaping hole into your heart.

Losing a life can happen at any moment and anytime. It can strike so quickly that we do not have a chance to try to understand it is already there. He is gone. She is gone. They were just here and now they are not. A lot of questions can come up. Why? Why is it that they had to die?

Losing anyone is striking down to your soul. The pain is indescribable. Losing someone you loved brings unimaginable sorrow to your heart. I know right now a lot of people are suffering because they have lost someone who they loved and cared for a friend, a loved one, family, coworkers. No matter how big or small the loss is. A life has been lost and there is pain.

I would like to ask anyone who is reading this right now to take a moment and close your eyes and open your heart and send all the love you can to everyone in the world who has ever lost someone and grieving to help them through this process.

Please take a moment in your fast-paced life to tell the people around you that you love and care for them. Life is so precious, and it can change in a heartbeat.

I am asking for your help because I know that a lot of people are grieving right now. I am one of them. The pain is without words and the tears will not stop.

Open your minds and your heart – let your caring and support come through for all the people who need it right now.

Sending love to all of you from all my heart,

Gabriella

The Day The Snake Disappeared

Fun stories from my mom

by Gabriella

When my mom was telling me this story, I was so intrigued that I wanted to share it with you. Just to clear the air: No snake got harmed in this story.

My uncles brought home a snake from a field trip. This was not unusual. There was always some kind of animal at the house. My mom had already moved out and had her place. On one of the occasions when she went to their condo to visit them, she come upon these events. Her twin teen brothers Józsika and Attila were telling her:” come on sis come and look at the snake we got”.

Let me just tell you my mom was not delighted. Although she was not super excited about the idea, she did decide to go to take a look at what they got. After of course some reassurances that the snake is safe in a tank.

Well, I can already see your wills turning and you are right.

When she got to the room the tank where the snake was supposed to be was empty. Imagine a snake on the loose. Now what? They had to find the snake. The search party began. The two boys, mom, and my grandmother were on the hunt for a snake. The snake was about 20 to 25 cm long. (8 to 10 inches). They were never able to identify what type of a snake it was.

They had searched everywhere and could not find the snake. They had kept searching for a long time.

Where could the snake go? They lived in a 4 story building on the third floor. No snake anywhere to be found. Everyone kept on searching for the snake and come up empty-handed.

What can you do when you know that there is a snake somewhere, but you cannot find it? How do you sleep at night? I can see my mother and grandmother rolling their eyes. “Great, now we have a loose snake”.

The snake disappeared. They could not find it anywhere. It became a mystery. After multiple searches, they gave up on finding the snake. Nobody thought that they will ever see the snake again. They taught that the snake probably somehow escaped and made it outside.

Now we are fast-forwarding time and jumping through a time machine.

Six months later there was painting in the condo. As you can imagine with the painting you move any furniture and paint the walls behind.

You have guessed right. Well, there he was. The lost and now found: a snake. Behind a big cabinet minding his own business.

My mom was puzzled how the snake survived six months behind the cabinet. What did the snake eat? Did the snake come out at night and was wondering around the floor while they were sleeping? No one will know. One thing is for sure the snake did not hurt anyone. All we know is that the snake was lost six months ago and now the snake was found. The snake was looking great. It was a happy, healthy snake.

The snake was clever hiding behind the cabinet for about six months. Mom thinks he might have been eating some spiders. We will never fully know. One thing is for sure the snake has escaped two teenage boys and hid behind a big cabinet which probably helped him survive. After this endeavor of losing and finding a snake, the boys decided to let the snake go.

I imagine how happy the snake was when he touched real dirt and grass again.

I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did,

Thank you for reading,

Gabriella

Lift Your Spirits Up – Bringing Love And Joy Into Your Life

Meditation Practice

By Dr. Gabriella Kőrösi

Photo by Gabriella

This is a simple practice you can do. I do this practice every day multiple times a day. This practice makes me feel calm and content. You are welcome to use this practice or create your own. I also created a voice recording that you can listen to if you like. Let’s begin.

I am Love – Meditation Practice by Gabriella

Close your eyes. Take a deep breath, take another one and now imagine that it’s only you there’s nothing and no one around you.

Keep taking some nice deep breaths in and out. I want you to repeat these words with me.

I am love. I am joy. I am gratefulness. My home is stillness.

You are love. You are joy. You are gratefulness. Your home is stillness.

We are love. We are joy. We are gratefulness. Our home is stillness.

All is love. All is joy. All is gratefulness. All our home is stillness.

All is love. All is joy. All is gratefulness. All our home is stillness.

 Everything is love. Everything is joy. Everything is gratefulness. Our home is stillness.

Love is Stillness.

I am love. I am joy. I am gratefulness. My home is stillness.

Now, I want you to imagine that you fill your body with love joy.

 Imagine, a color, your favorite color whatever it is and filling up your bodily with that color and send it out to the world and beyond to everything and everyone you know and even beyond that to whole world, the universe, the multiverse to every living thing.

Keep taking some nice deep breaths. Now if you have any feelings of any negativity in your life just imagine those feelings slipping out of your body say goodbye to them. You don’t need them and feel your love and joy in your body. Bring the love and joy into your body instead of anything else.

Now go back to the beginning and keep repeating the same thing where we started:

I am love. I am joy. I am gratefulness. My home is stillness.

You are love. You are joy. You are gratefulness. Your home is stillness.

We are love. We are joy. We are gratefulness. Our home is stillness.

All is love. All is joy. All is gratefulness. Our home is stillness.

 Everything is love. Everything is joy. Everything is gratefulness. Our home is stillness.

Love is Stillness.

Thank you for reading or listening,

Gabriella

November 6-2021. Dancing Elephants Press. All rights reserved.

Can You Accept Yourself The Way You Are?

Humanity in its core

Dr. Gabriella Kőrösi

My question is to you: Is Being Human Enough?

What does humanity mean? Why do we strive to live longer? Why do we always want more? 

I recently listened to multiple documentaries and conversations on the Gaia channel that discuss those questions. The debates usually go both ways. One side of the argument is that if you’re already here and you’re able to make improvements to yourself that is part of your destiny. The other side is that just because we can: Is it mean that we should improve our technology and insert advanced technology into our bodies and our lives.

I was reading an article by Dr. Mehmet Yildiz discussing the debate on artificial intelligence. How Artificial Intelligence Vision of Elon Musk Integrates with Intelligence of Ali Baba [Jack Ma]. How two different intelligence methods serve the society.
Dr. Mehmet Yildiz discussed both sides of artificial intelligence vision for the future and came to the conclusion “undermining the harmful effects and not taking speedy precautions can bring severe ramifications to humanity.” 

I thought that his article was a wonderful debate. It led me to the question: I wonder when would we stop and realize that being human the way we are is just enough?

Dr. Mehmet Yildiz thought that was a profound question. I know that each individual has their thoughts about what humanity and being human means to them. I am concerned about the speed in our lives. The way we are racing through our day. The constant technology we use evaded our lives. We use technology all the time everywhere. It is difficult to get a break from our computers and phones. The question is do we need all this technology in our daily life to live a fulfilled happy life.

It seems that we are continuously trying to evolve and improve ourselves to a point that we might lose our humanity. This brings more questions to my mind. 

What Does Being Human Mean to You? 

Are you willing to sacrifice part or all of your humanity to become faster and more efficient in this world?

 I believe that we are enough the way we are. We can always learn and gain insight from what is happening around us. It does not mean that we should change who we are into something else.

Does living a longer life worth it if it comes with the burden of losing who you are in the process? 

It is up to each individual to make the choice of which way they would like to go. I believe a balance is needed. Parts of technology can help us communicate better to be able to save lives. Too much technology I’m afraid we will destroy us and who we are.

I hope for the future we can make good choices today and stick with being human, connecting to nature and everything around us to help us evolve instead of looking more and more into technology to be faster and more efficient.

Humanity is a miracle. It is a treasure that I hope we don’t lose but embrace. Instead of looking outside to improve ourselves with technology, I hope we can all learn to look inside and realize that we are enough.

Thank you for reading,

Gabriella

Counting The Good Things In Your Life
What are you grateful for today?

Wind blowing the sand photo by Gabriella – Oregon Coast

I got a reminder recently about how important it is to remember everything good in your life. Anything can change in a drop of the moment. Your life is a continuing movement of all that surrounds you and lives within you. We change like the sand particles in the coastal wind. Change is inevitable. Change can be a good reminder that every moment is precious in your life.


Sometimes we forget in the fast pace of our daily lives importance to stop and “smell the roses”. It is easy to get distracted. There is so much to do every day. Simple daily activities can seem overwhelming. We tend to keep rushing to our day and jumping ahead instead of focusing on what is going on right now.
Even simple things like feeding your dog or cat, cooking food for your family, washing your dishes are good things in your life. I am very grateful to have family, friends, coworkers, a good job, animals in my life, and trees around me.
I am grateful for all my family and friends. I am grateful that I can be here on this earth experiencing wonderful miracles every day in every moment.
I saw a quote today from RUMI that was a good way, to sum up how I feel.


“In the silence of LOVE, you will find the spark of LIFE”
RUMI

Close your eyes and count good things happening in your life right now. What and who do you see? What do you hear? I am grateful for everything I can see and feel in my life.


I see everything. I feel everything. I am here. The sun is just beginning to rise I could see the shape of the mountains emerging from the night. I can see the silhouette of the trees. I can see the changing color of the sky.

I can see the light as it changes from moment to moment. The colors of the morning sun are now awakening and showing its rays. I can feel the crisp morning air.


Spread love and joy in this world and beyond. Remember to show love and caring for the people around you.


Keep counting the good things in your life to a point when you realize there are so many that you cannot keep track anymore.

Thank you for reading,

Gabriella

Love and Hope

Poetry by Gabriella

Love and Hope
are walking tight,
holding hands,
just tonight in the moonlight.

Freedom of joy comes with a price,
A price so high many can’t bear,
Instead of hope they got despair.

Hope and Faith are
looking tonight,

to find a soul pure and right;
give it a gift
a gift of love,
with insight to the light.

To show us the path
where love and hope
could be found tonight.

GK

October 2021 Blog Writings

Links to articles

Please see the blogs below for this month.

About me

Blog writings are available on this website ans well as on Medium and on Vocal Media.

You can find me on Medium here:

https://gkorosi75.medium.com/

You can find me on Vocal Media here

Gabriella Korosi | Vocal

Counting The Good Things In Your Life. What are you grateful for today? – Welcome to Gabriella’s site – Dancing Elephants Press (gabriellakorosi.org)

The Negative Words We Use To Describe Things – Welcome to Gabriella’s site – Dancing Elephants Press (gabriellakorosi.org)

Achieving Absolute Stillness – Welcome to Gabriella’s site – Dancing Elephants Press (gabriellakorosi.org)

Break The Stress Cycle – Welcome to Gabriella’s site – Dancing Elephants Press (gabriellakorosi.org)

Everything – Welcome to Gabriella’s site – Dancing Elephants Press (gabriellakorosi.org)

The Negative Words We Use To Describe Things


A challenge to writers. Can we make it better?

By Dr. Gabriella Kőrösi

Morning coffee -picture by Gabriella October 2021

It is dark, quiet, rainy and cold October morning outside. I made my wonderful cup of coffee for the morning. This one I made with coconut milk a hint of cinnamon cocoa powder and some stevia for sweetness. I’ve been thinking about this topic for a while. 

Why do we use the words we use?

We could use any type of word to describe things and yet, we seem to gravitate toward negative words. Is it to catch your attention? Do we as humans tend to gravitate more toward something that has a negative title instead of a positive one? 

Do tragedy and sadness stimulate our brain more than happiness and joy?

Have you noticed that there are so many things around us described in a negative way even if it is for a positive intent?

Example: the war against…… the battle against…. fighting for….. justice, poverty, racial inequality, cancer, war, oil companies, pharmaceuticals…..and the list goes on.

Why do we use the words we are fighting for something even if it is a positive cause? 

Why are we using the words- fighting against cancer- instead of using positive reinforcements? I’ve been thinking about words that we could use instead of negative words to encourage positivity and joy in our life. Maybe there is a solution to all the negative words.


When I grow up in Hungary I learned about the revolution in our language when we changed words from exactly describing things to words that are easier to pronounce and shorter. An example would be a train. We used to stay instead of saying that it is a train that it is a machine that moves forward. Another example would be a tie. Instead of saying it was a tie we used to say it is something that goes around your neck and rests on your chest. It is definitely a long way to describe something and I’m wondering if we could create something similar to change how we describe things in a more positive and supportive manner. Instead of using the words war and battle and fight what words could we use.


Words I can think of right now: prevention, support, healing of the body, awareness. Could we say let’s support the people who have lower incomes and live in poverty instead of saying the war against poverty or inequality? 

Could we say empower the people to speak up and support each other for equal rights? 

I’m just playing with words and trying to figure out why we use so much negativity in our lives. Since english is my second language, I would be curious to hear what other people have to say regarding this topic. I would love to see more positive descriptions to support love and care for each other instead of negative descriptions even if it’s for a positive cause. 

I am wondering if there’s a tendency not to pay attention to something unless it has a strongly negative word attached to it. Similarly, the way how we don’t pay attention to public health unless there’s an emergency like our current pandemic situation. 

Do we have our brains wired to create emphasis on negativity more than on a positive influence?

If we do have our brain focus on more negative things, could we change our brains and train ourselves to focus on positive things even in our writing? Could we commit as writers to write a little more with positive intent and use positive words when we describe something? It is definitely a challenge. 

Are you up to it? Let me know what you think.

Thank you for reading,

Gabriella

Break The Stress Cycle

Create a positive mindset

Gabriella Korosi

Photo by George Pagan III on Unsplash

Do you feel stressed today?

Stress can easily sneak into our lives. Living in a COVID -19 pandemic, loss of family, health issues, problems at your job, having financial difficulties, low income, and poverty are just a few things that can boost the stress response.

When I finished my Ph.D. in public health I could not find a job for a long time. It was very stressful to keep searching, sending in applications, having student debt, and no sign of a paycheck. It took me a long time to realize that my dreams of having a job in public health are not realistic at this time. It is a weird cycle when you are newly graduated, yet have no experience. Many jobs are looking for people with experience. It can be difficult to get experience if you are not hired without it. I had to readjust my dreams and take an available job. A job that I was familiar with and have been doing for the past 25 years. I went back to nursing.

Responding to stress can be defensive, at first, and it is easy to take things personally. Negative thoughts can occlude our minds. Determining the cause of your stress is helpful to work on decreasing stress by learning coping mechanisms and communication skills.

Learned skills help eliminate and decrease stress in your life.

Triggering stressors can pop up in our day at any time. Stress can show up in the workplace, at home, on the road while driving, with friends, and with family. There are a lot of stressors in today’s society related to very high expectations with competitive work environments and financial strains. working hours are long, housing prices are extremely high and it is difficult for many people to keep up.

It is essential to recharge our system with positive energy by attending to nature and each other.

Additional stressors include the lack of medical benefits, high co-pay for medications and treatments, pay grades, and family issues. Stress affects relationships by creating discomfort between people. Financial problems come up in your everyday life college funding, making house and car payments, and paying medical and utility bills.

I had to go to the emergency department a few years back and I am still paying a monthly payment from that one visit even though I had health insurance. It was a shock to got the bill. I just keep biting that bill one small payment at a time. Looking back I am grateful I went to make sure nothing major was wrong.

Stress affects your health by creating a circle of unhealthy behaviors, which can lead to addiction including smoking, drinking, using drugs, gambling. Stress can lead to eating unhealthy sugary foods that increase weight and create obesity and the potential for diabetes and cardiovascular problems.

For me, stress causes the unhealthy habit of eating too much and eating unhealthy things. Before I notice I grab the next thing to eat when I am not even hungry. Then, I feel sick and more stressed because I had just done something that is not good for me. I am working on implementing positive thinking into my life to break the cycle of my behavior.

Stress can also cause emotional problems, including depression and anxiety. Stress creates an immediate response in the brain sending chemical signals affecting your whole body. Long-term stress creates mental problems and diseases in your body.

When we feel stressed it can be helpful to change our thinking and mood and focus on positive things in life. Simple deep breathing, smiling, being grateful for the things that are going well in your life can be helpful to break the cycle.

Do things have to be perfect? –setting up for failure

CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), reflective listening, and validation of feelings are helpful tools to reduce stress and anxiety. CBT is described as a technique that creates coping strategies to break away from anxiety and worry.

Helpful Techniques to overcome Stress and Anxiety

Visualization/Imagery techniques

Breathing Technique

Practicing breathing exercises has been helpful for me when my mind goes down a deep rabbit hole. I take a few deep breaths counting to five breathing in, holding my breath while I count to five again, and slowly breathe out. I repeat this relaxing breathing technique a few times a day.

Ways to Believe in YourselfWays to believe in yourselfmedium.com

Our Society: Addiction and More UncoveredHear the voice of everyday people — collection of stories and experiencesmedium.com

Resources

Anxiety and Depression Health.org https://www.iwanttochangemylife.org/anxiety/anxiety-symptoms-disorder.htm

Brainfacts.org https://www.brainfacts.org/thinking-sensing-and-behaving/emotions-stress-and-anxiety

Shrestha, S., Robertson,S., & Stanley, M.A. (2011). Innovation in research for treatment of late-life anxiety. Aging and Mental health 15(7), 811–821.

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